Police :Tan Sri welcome to my station.
TanSri :Oh tankiu. Your stesen is very cleanful.
Police : Thank you Tan Sri. How may I help you?
TanSri : Wa you beri gud. I only kam wan minit you oredi wan tu hep me. I will tel yu boss. Yu prestasation beri gud.
Police : Tankiu Tan Sri. Can you help me get transferred to Johore?
TanSri : Ha, ha, ha, yu oso wan tu go joho. Can mik mani de? Ha, ha, I laik yu.
Police : Thank you Tan Sri, now how can I help you?
TanSri : Ha, ha, ha tuday 2 taims yu wan tu hep me. Ha, ha, ha, yu bery gud.
Police : Thank you Tan Sri. So you come here for what Tan Sri?
TanSri : Ha, ha, ha, I wan tu mik a pulis repot.
Police : Sure, sure Tan Sri. Please have a seat and I will get my man to help you.
TanSri : Ha, ha, ha, tuday 3 taims yu wan tu hep me. I laik yu, I laik yu.
Police: : What is your report about Tan Sri.
TanSri: Got wan king son bery bad. oways say bad tings abot the Agong. I Malaysians bery angri. Bad prestasation wan.
Police: Who is that fellow Tan Sri.
TanSri: Wait. Ape name si penulis blog tu? Raje Din? Okay. Oh he name is King Din. Bery bad pipel he.
Police: What did he do Tan Sri.
TanSri: Oh he bery noti. He say many bad tings abot Agong and he say many tings can mik the pipel fait fait. If pipel fait fait the kontri prestasation go down. Ha, ha, ha, no go down tu Ostolia, Ostolia for put mani only. Ha, ha, ha, I beri fani.
Police: Where and when did he say all these?
TanSri: Oh hi say dis in the komputer. Yu know the komputer put the talipon wayar and pipel eberiwe eberiwe can communication.
Police: Oh, you mean the internet?
TanSri: Ha yes, yes, net, net. Beri noti pipel he. Bad prestasation.
Police: Don't worry TanSri we will apprehand him.
TanSri: Hmm? ok ok after yu apri his hand yu apri his leg oso.
Police: Er, Tan Sri, about my transfer to Johor?
TanSri: Ha, ha, ha, wan tu mik mani ha? ok ok I mobile the chif now. ha, ha, ha, yu same laik mi. wi tu gud prestasation.
Friday, 27 July 2007
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Its Been 2 Months Already
I was tinkering with the music player of my phone when I found a track that read Track 4 - Unknown. I played the track and the familiar sound of Carlos Santana's solo on Black Magic Woman suddenly arrested my attention. The first thing that I could visualise was my late brother with a microphone in hand and eyes closed. His thick long curly hydrogen peroxide bleached locks were blowing in the wind and fans were screaming.
Yes, my late brother was a singer and he was pretty good. He was also good with the guitar but not good enough to be a permanently featured guitarist. When he was younger he was one hell of a looker and may I add a Casanova. He was many times mistaken for a Mat Salleh for he had no Malay feature at all. Only when he opened his mouth would his race be revealed. Oh how I wish I am the kind who collects photographs.
Yesterday was exactly 2 months to the day my late brother left us and I can't help thinking of him. I just came back from Raden's blog and she was talking about her late mother in law and it reminded me of my late brother more. Just a few minutes ago I received two empty sms from my late brother's number. I called back and my niece apologised. She said that Masha, my grandniece, my late brother's only grandchild, was playing around with the phone.
I still see him when I am alone. I see his smiles and I see us talking together. I remember how he used to tell me stories about his work and exploits in his younger days. I remember the dinners he used to take my family and I for whenever we visited. I remember his fondness for mutton and how whenever we visited, mutton is a must for lunch. He loved to dine and money was no object when food was concerned.
For someone with only a decent result in his MCE, he sure worked his way up the ladder. He joined a Hong Kong based factory in Prai as a trainee technician and was sent to Hong Kong for a 3 month training stint. From then on he worked his way up. When the Japanese bought over the company his rise was more meteoric. He was already a manager in his 30s. Then he went to Matsushita where he ended up a General Manager for one of the departments.
What gave him the edge was his work ethics. He was completely different from. I do at times take mc just to rest. Whenever I fell sick, I would definitely get an mc. He on the hand had never taken an mc for about 25 years before he retired but in those times he had been warded quite a number of times and had surgery once. How did he do it? He took his annual leave. Even when he was hospitalised, he would use up his annual leave and never the mc given. I remember when he had surgery for hernia, he left for work the very next day despite being ordered by the doctors to rest.
As far as work ethics was concerned, he was a carbon copy of my late father. I can't remember my father taking more then a day off at a time. I don't think it is any wonder that they were similar coz amongst us siblings, he was the one who had the most Pakistani feature. My second brother do look Pakistani but the Malay in him do show. My sister and I on the other hand have the most Malay feature. We take after our mother a lot.
My late brother died exactly 29 years and 1 day after my father. They both had liver cancer with my brother outdoing my late father with an additional complication, that is liver cancer. Both died with only 1 grandchild and both died relatively young. Whatever the memory is, I still think of him.
Yes, my late brother was a singer and he was pretty good. He was also good with the guitar but not good enough to be a permanently featured guitarist. When he was younger he was one hell of a looker and may I add a Casanova. He was many times mistaken for a Mat Salleh for he had no Malay feature at all. Only when he opened his mouth would his race be revealed. Oh how I wish I am the kind who collects photographs.
Yesterday was exactly 2 months to the day my late brother left us and I can't help thinking of him. I just came back from Raden's blog and she was talking about her late mother in law and it reminded me of my late brother more. Just a few minutes ago I received two empty sms from my late brother's number. I called back and my niece apologised. She said that Masha, my grandniece, my late brother's only grandchild, was playing around with the phone.
I still see him when I am alone. I see his smiles and I see us talking together. I remember how he used to tell me stories about his work and exploits in his younger days. I remember the dinners he used to take my family and I for whenever we visited. I remember his fondness for mutton and how whenever we visited, mutton is a must for lunch. He loved to dine and money was no object when food was concerned.
For someone with only a decent result in his MCE, he sure worked his way up the ladder. He joined a Hong Kong based factory in Prai as a trainee technician and was sent to Hong Kong for a 3 month training stint. From then on he worked his way up. When the Japanese bought over the company his rise was more meteoric. He was already a manager in his 30s. Then he went to Matsushita where he ended up a General Manager for one of the departments.
What gave him the edge was his work ethics. He was completely different from. I do at times take mc just to rest. Whenever I fell sick, I would definitely get an mc. He on the hand had never taken an mc for about 25 years before he retired but in those times he had been warded quite a number of times and had surgery once. How did he do it? He took his annual leave. Even when he was hospitalised, he would use up his annual leave and never the mc given. I remember when he had surgery for hernia, he left for work the very next day despite being ordered by the doctors to rest.
As far as work ethics was concerned, he was a carbon copy of my late father. I can't remember my father taking more then a day off at a time. I don't think it is any wonder that they were similar coz amongst us siblings, he was the one who had the most Pakistani feature. My second brother do look Pakistani but the Malay in him do show. My sister and I on the other hand have the most Malay feature. We take after our mother a lot.
My late brother died exactly 29 years and 1 day after my father. They both had liver cancer with my brother outdoing my late father with an additional complication, that is liver cancer. Both died with only 1 grandchild and both died relatively young. Whatever the memory is, I still think of him.
Sunday, 22 July 2007
A Piece Of History Graced My Balcony
As I had mentioned in my previous post, I just got back from a course. The course was held in Ipoh Perak from the 16th of July to the 19 of July. I attended a movie making course using Microsoft's Movie Maker No we didn't learn how to make movies but rather how to come up with a more sophisticated presentation and may be intergrate this presentation in classroom teaching. I dare say that the course was very interesting accept that too much was cramped into too short a time thus giving old-timers like me a difficult time catching up, otherwise, the course part of the trip was excellent. I would like to thank the PPD Pulau for giving me this opportunity.
I may write about the actual course content in another post but what I want to highlight in this post is the trip and Visit Malaysia Year. Yes 2007 is Visit Malaysia Year and I am sure Perak is playing her role in attracting tourists, local or foreign. I can see how tourism could help in the country's economy. Malaysia could gain a lot through well orchestrated campaigns to encourage people to visit this country.
If you had read carefully, I did say well-orchestrated campaigns. Of course a well orchestrated campaign involves many elements and all these elements combined must add up to value for money. One aspect of value for money is of course courtesy and comfort.
Now I don't know how much the organisers had to pay per head per day though from previous experience I think its in the region of RM140 to RM150 per head per day. As in many other courses that I had attended participants are always housed 2 to a room, unless the course is for Pengetuas where they are given a room each. I have no complaint about that coz it fits their status as heads of departments.
We were taken to Heritage Hotel Ipoh by 3 very comfortable coaches, Kudos to the organisers. There was a slight hitch though, the bus I was in, which hit the road only a week earlier encountered air-cond problems and also the door refused to close.
At the hotel, I was told it was a Perak State Government hotel, we were attended to swiftly and got into our rooms in near-record time. That was the end of the smooth sailing that was accorded us. The room was, what should I say, roomy, quite spacious. After about an hour, we had to make our first call for assistance. My room mate called for the ironing set and was told that he could have it only for 15 minutes. Well, fair enough. The set came and the board was all wired up at the feet with very rough wires. The joints at the feet of the board kept coming out and the board nearly collapse a few times. Ironing was like a juggling act. You had to ensure that the iron was on the board and the board remained stable.
Then the next call. We called for bolsters to which we were told that they DO NOT HAVE ANY. We asked for extra pillows instead. We were given only two, one each. The answer was, I am sorry sir, we have full occupancy and so there is no more left. What a lousy liar. I could see that there were many empty rooms. Then the next call, the air-conditioning was not good. We had a maintainance personnel in our room in double quick time. He opened the sagging ceiling and after doing whatever he did which took about a minute, he said that the aircond is a single blower type and so that was the best we could get. He asked if we wanted to change rooms. Change room? Full occupancy? Hey they don't add up. We said yes, and in half an hour we were given cards to our new room. Horror of horrors, 1 double bed. We asked if we could get 2 single beds coz both of us were not too receptive to the idea of sleeping with someone of the same sex. You know what I mean. Hey we are straight. Somehow I got the feeling that they are going to say they are out of 2 single bed rooms and I got the grand prize for my guess. The prize was sleeping with another gentleman on a double bed in a hotel.
You must wonder what is the picture of a mosquito breeding project site doing in this post. Well this project-site is actually the balcony of our room. Please take a while to marvel at such a heavenly sight. The slime, so tastefully put there to add character to the balcony. Hey this is the Heritage Hotel right, so they must have something historical, perhaps from the Birch era, to decorate their rooms and what better way then to decorate your balconies with slime probably bearing imprints of Maharaja Lela as he embarked on that fatefull day (day or night?) to give the Mat Salleh a dressing down.
No, I don't want to create a commotion coz that would trouble the organisers who had done a good job. It was not their fault that the people at Heritage wanted to try a revolutionary drug for Dengue. While admiring tis piece of history, I saw something else
that arrested my attention.
The second picture is that of a horse stable. Notice how each cubicle has an aircond unit attached Wow, the life of a race horse sure is good but I wouldn't want to be one anyway. Hey if you are human, break a leg and they put POP. Try breaking a leg if you are a horse and you end up as dog food. What has the picture of a stable got to do with my story? Beats me, I don't know, its just that I got this picture and I thought it would be nice to put it here.
Anyway back to the room. No Birch didn't visit me that night coz I think even he was disgusted with what he saw.
There are many other minor complaints but those kind of complaints are normal and can be found in any hotels. What I would like to highlight here is that be serious if you are embarking on a campaign. That pool that I highlighted shouldn't have happened and shouldn't be taken lightly. It is damn downright embarrassing. This hotel is not a cheap whore infested hotel where lust is the pull so no one gives a damn as to how it is presented. If it is true that this Hotel belongs to the state government then something needs to be done. The exco in charge should be sent on a trip to Papua New Guinea on a NURI.
I may write about the actual course content in another post but what I want to highlight in this post is the trip and Visit Malaysia Year. Yes 2007 is Visit Malaysia Year and I am sure Perak is playing her role in attracting tourists, local or foreign. I can see how tourism could help in the country's economy. Malaysia could gain a lot through well orchestrated campaigns to encourage people to visit this country.
If you had read carefully, I did say well-orchestrated campaigns. Of course a well orchestrated campaign involves many elements and all these elements combined must add up to value for money. One aspect of value for money is of course courtesy and comfort.
Now I don't know how much the organisers had to pay per head per day though from previous experience I think its in the region of RM140 to RM150 per head per day. As in many other courses that I had attended participants are always housed 2 to a room, unless the course is for Pengetuas where they are given a room each. I have no complaint about that coz it fits their status as heads of departments.
We were taken to Heritage Hotel Ipoh by 3 very comfortable coaches, Kudos to the organisers. There was a slight hitch though, the bus I was in, which hit the road only a week earlier encountered air-cond problems and also the door refused to close.
At the hotel, I was told it was a Perak State Government hotel, we were attended to swiftly and got into our rooms in near-record time. That was the end of the smooth sailing that was accorded us. The room was, what should I say, roomy, quite spacious. After about an hour, we had to make our first call for assistance. My room mate called for the ironing set and was told that he could have it only for 15 minutes. Well, fair enough. The set came and the board was all wired up at the feet with very rough wires. The joints at the feet of the board kept coming out and the board nearly collapse a few times. Ironing was like a juggling act. You had to ensure that the iron was on the board and the board remained stable.
Then the next call. We called for bolsters to which we were told that they DO NOT HAVE ANY. We asked for extra pillows instead. We were given only two, one each. The answer was, I am sorry sir, we have full occupancy and so there is no more left. What a lousy liar. I could see that there were many empty rooms. Then the next call, the air-conditioning was not good. We had a maintainance personnel in our room in double quick time. He opened the sagging ceiling and after doing whatever he did which took about a minute, he said that the aircond is a single blower type and so that was the best we could get. He asked if we wanted to change rooms. Change room? Full occupancy? Hey they don't add up. We said yes, and in half an hour we were given cards to our new room. Horror of horrors, 1 double bed. We asked if we could get 2 single beds coz both of us were not too receptive to the idea of sleeping with someone of the same sex. You know what I mean. Hey we are straight. Somehow I got the feeling that they are going to say they are out of 2 single bed rooms and I got the grand prize for my guess. The prize was sleeping with another gentleman on a double bed in a hotel.
You must wonder what is the picture of a mosquito breeding project site doing in this post. Well this project-site is actually the balcony of our room. Please take a while to marvel at such a heavenly sight. The slime, so tastefully put there to add character to the balcony. Hey this is the Heritage Hotel right, so they must have something historical, perhaps from the Birch era, to decorate their rooms and what better way then to decorate your balconies with slime probably bearing imprints of Maharaja Lela as he embarked on that fatefull day (day or night?) to give the Mat Salleh a dressing down.
No, I don't want to create a commotion coz that would trouble the organisers who had done a good job. It was not their fault that the people at Heritage wanted to try a revolutionary drug for Dengue. While admiring tis piece of history, I saw something else
that arrested my attention.The second picture is that of a horse stable. Notice how each cubicle has an aircond unit attached Wow, the life of a race horse sure is good but I wouldn't want to be one anyway. Hey if you are human, break a leg and they put POP. Try breaking a leg if you are a horse and you end up as dog food. What has the picture of a stable got to do with my story? Beats me, I don't know, its just that I got this picture and I thought it would be nice to put it here.
Anyway back to the room. No Birch didn't visit me that night coz I think even he was disgusted with what he saw.
There are many other minor complaints but those kind of complaints are normal and can be found in any hotels. What I would like to highlight here is that be serious if you are embarking on a campaign. That pool that I highlighted shouldn't have happened and shouldn't be taken lightly. It is damn downright embarrassing. This hotel is not a cheap whore infested hotel where lust is the pull so no one gives a damn as to how it is presented. If it is true that this Hotel belongs to the state government then something needs to be done. The exco in charge should be sent on a trip to Papua New Guinea on a NURI.
Thursday, 19 July 2007
Six Down And Counting?
Just got back from a four day course in Ipoh. It was quite interesting but that is not what I want to write about. Oh no, what I would like to blog about is something more interesting. It is about another Malaysian malady: they don't fix thing until there is death. If there is a road cutting into the path of a railway track, they won't put up a gate until of course a bus got stuck on the rails and a train smashes into it killing more than 10 people. Of course it would be said that the driver was a drunk or even a junkie, or that the company has very bad maintenance record or that the bus was bought in 1968.
Well talking about 1968, that was the year, we bought some helicopters. It was brand new then. I was only 12 then, but I am 51 now and those choppers or the remaining ones that is are already 39 now. Considering the hours the choppers were used, both as a military transport crafts and also for politicians to use like those choppers belong to their grandfathers, some of them should be gracing some military museums while the others scrapped. Oh no, not in Bolehland. Anyway we have only lost some lives before, not enough to warrant replacement, anyway, I don't think an adequate enough commission has been agreed upon to justify purchasing of new transport choppers and the fact that a certain commission expert is currently HELD up in a very life threatening CASE so the purchase can wait.
When I saw on TV just now about how the remaining 3 bodies were plucked onto a hovering BOMBA helicopter I was moved to tears thinking of the lost to their families and loved ones. It is not only their loved ones and families who lost, the country too lost. The country lost 6 valuable lives. Lives that could have been spared had the people up there been more sensitive to the needs of their personnel. We don't need refurbished used expensive submarines but we sure do need new safe transport crafts for our air-force people. The amount of money spent in training these people vanished with their deaths. The experience they had vanished with the last blink in the radar.
Today's papers reported that the cabinet had agreed to replace the aging machines with new ones. Yeah, tell that to the orphaned children of the deceased, tell that to the grieving parents, spouses and kins. After this I am sure they will feast us with shows of generosity by the arm forces and the government both federal and state. Associations would come forward to adopt the children of the deceased; cheques would be flashed for all to see that there still people who care; the circus would come to town with people clamouring to show that they care with the press playing their part in suppressing any negative news.
In the meantime these old horses would still be used putting at risk the lives of those who step foot on them. This time we should see how many of our dignitaries would dare step onto one while out campaigning in the coming elections. I got this feeling that come this election our air-force helicopter pilots would not be working as hard as the last election coz somehow the demand would strangely drop. Private choppers would be doing a roaring business though.
I wonder when would we be setting our priorities right. I wonder when would all these shit stop.
Well talking about 1968, that was the year, we bought some helicopters. It was brand new then. I was only 12 then, but I am 51 now and those choppers or the remaining ones that is are already 39 now. Considering the hours the choppers were used, both as a military transport crafts and also for politicians to use like those choppers belong to their grandfathers, some of them should be gracing some military museums while the others scrapped. Oh no, not in Bolehland. Anyway we have only lost some lives before, not enough to warrant replacement, anyway, I don't think an adequate enough commission has been agreed upon to justify purchasing of new transport choppers and the fact that a certain commission expert is currently HELD up in a very life threatening CASE so the purchase can wait.
When I saw on TV just now about how the remaining 3 bodies were plucked onto a hovering BOMBA helicopter I was moved to tears thinking of the lost to their families and loved ones. It is not only their loved ones and families who lost, the country too lost. The country lost 6 valuable lives. Lives that could have been spared had the people up there been more sensitive to the needs of their personnel. We don't need refurbished used expensive submarines but we sure do need new safe transport crafts for our air-force people. The amount of money spent in training these people vanished with their deaths. The experience they had vanished with the last blink in the radar.
Today's papers reported that the cabinet had agreed to replace the aging machines with new ones. Yeah, tell that to the orphaned children of the deceased, tell that to the grieving parents, spouses and kins. After this I am sure they will feast us with shows of generosity by the arm forces and the government both federal and state. Associations would come forward to adopt the children of the deceased; cheques would be flashed for all to see that there still people who care; the circus would come to town with people clamouring to show that they care with the press playing their part in suppressing any negative news.
In the meantime these old horses would still be used putting at risk the lives of those who step foot on them. This time we should see how many of our dignitaries would dare step onto one while out campaigning in the coming elections. I got this feeling that come this election our air-force helicopter pilots would not be working as hard as the last election coz somehow the demand would strangely drop. Private choppers would be doing a roaring business though.
I wonder when would we be setting our priorities right. I wonder when would all these shit stop.
Saturday, 14 July 2007
ALFATIHAH
Raden Galoh's of http://onebreastbouncing.blogspot.com/ mother in law passed away this evening. I would like to convey my deepest condolence to her and her husbang Mambang Hijau. Be strong, this is after all ALLAH's will.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
Its Quiz Time
These are questions related to REAL personalities. Try to answer the questions first before peeking at the answers at the end of the post.
Two Tough Questions
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with an astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C.
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, only drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first ... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
-------------------------------------------------------
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Copied wholesale from
http://politicalhumor.about.comSunday, 8 July 2007
The Noblest of All Heroic Acts
What is the most noble of all heroic acts?
No it is not to slain fire-breathing dragons,
Nor aid a damsel in distress,
Nor save a village from pillaging barbarians,
Nor humble greedy landlords,
Nor blunt the teeth of meat-eating loan sharks,
Nor pluck a drowning kid from a swallowing whirlpool,
Nor cut the limbs of corrupt officials,
Nor disarm a vicious robber,
Nor cut the tool of a serial rapist,
Nor expose the identity of a ruthless murderer,
Nor strip naked a con artist,
No, no, no, its none of the above,
The truest, biggest and noblest of all heroic acts
Is to protect the people against their government.
No it is not to slain fire-breathing dragons,
Nor aid a damsel in distress,
Nor save a village from pillaging barbarians,
Nor humble greedy landlords,
Nor blunt the teeth of meat-eating loan sharks,
Nor pluck a drowning kid from a swallowing whirlpool,
Nor cut the limbs of corrupt officials,
Nor disarm a vicious robber,
Nor cut the tool of a serial rapist,
Nor expose the identity of a ruthless murderer,
Nor strip naked a con artist,
No, no, no, its none of the above,
The truest, biggest and noblest of all heroic acts
Is to protect the people against their government.
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