Sunday, 30 May 2010

Subsidies

Aww, come on, are serious about doing away with subsidies? You've got to be kidding man. Hey, look at where you are now. Isn't it because of subsidies? You got subsidised public relations points courtesy of the Media, your media that is, and enjoy subsidised popularity, again thanks to the media, and you want to do away with subsidies? Ingrate!

Now listen and listen good. We have come so far to our present status so why make an about turn? I have a few suggestion of my own. This is of course for your own good, who cares about the people. Serve them right for being being a 'mere people' hah hah hah, padan muka you little people, bodoh punya orang.

Okay, what's in it for me if I gave you this life saving suggestions? Come on, I scratch your back, you scratch my balls la. You yourself told the people that if a certain someone is voted in, you would be willing to give a certain sum to keep the water from coming in.

Okay, now that we have come to an agreement here are my life savers.

1. Get friends to invest in sugar refinings. Do away with subsidies on sugar. Never mind if sugar costs RM5 a kilo. Say that you want people to consume less sugar for their own health. Do you think Malaysians would heed your 'advice'? Hey Malaysians never learn la, that's why you and your lots are still up there. The people would still consume as much sugar as they did before and your friends would be smiling their way to the bank.

2. Give to friends petrol pump licence. Say that petrol subsidy is going to bankkrupt the nation then once and for all take off all subsidies from petrol. Put a minimum price on petrol which should be 40 percent more than cost and your friends would be thanking you forever. Do you think the people would travel less? Fuck, Malaysians never learn la. At least this time we can give the Thai and Singapore governments a headache about petrol smugglings. Hee hee, serve them right. Take away those stupid subsidies from the Nelayans la. Who cares if fish would cost more or not. Do you think Malaysian would eat less fish. Fuck man, they would still be eating fish so who cares if they grumble or not.

3. Free health care is just not the way man. Charge outpatients RM30 and you would see that there would be no outpatients anymore and with that you don't have to employ more doctors. Compete with the private hospitals in terms of pricing. Charge 30 percent more than private hospitals for inpatients and you could cut down on the number of nurses and Amahs.

4. The people are too manja, do away with free education. Charge about RM500 per head per month for school fees and I can guarantee you that your 390K teachers could be downsized to just 3900 overnight. If parents complain tell them that it is their duty to educate their own children. If they can't find the time then find the money and send them to schools.

5. All roads must be tolled, even kampung ones. Give the consessions to your friends who would forever be indebted to you. Do you think Malaysians would travel less? Fuck man.

6. Where is the GST? Come on, all purchases by the people should come with a minimum of 20 percent tax. Do you think the people would buy less? Fuck man, TESCO and Giant would still be as packed as ever.

7. Bomba and Police services should be charged accordingly. Big fire 50K, small fire 49K. You could downsize the bomba force. All police reports should be charged and police house visits should cost even more. This way you could downsize the police force.

8. Now that you have made money from taxes and from doing away with subsidies, what do you do with the money? Defence man, defence. Everyone knows that the whole world is jealous of our success so we need to defend ourselves. No, don't get extra people for our defence. We need more submarines, helicopters, tanks, missiles and other weapons. Equip each personnel with at least 10 M16s, 5 bazookas, a tank and shoulder missile launchers. Buy buy buy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

cikgu
Hope u are keeping up well, dah lama tak singgah ur blog, but this article is truly wicked! hehehehe.its a damn bloody well written.I especially like the bomba guys charging 50k for big fire and a bit less for small fire.hahahahaa.thats a masterpiece
Its great to be in a happy mood after a long day at work which was marred by the appoinment of a known slimeball,scumbag and trickster par excellence to a management post.Apa nak buat , thats how things work in bolehland.

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