Priority

Press Statement

We have finished our investigations into the PKFZ affairs and are glad to announce that the MACC has found no evidence of wrongdoings in any of the dealings. In fact, it was found that everything was done very transparently. All dealings were done in accordance to the law.

As from today the MACC has d4ecided to close the files in the PKFZ affairs. As for the complaint lodged against the former Menteri Besar of Selangor, after exhaustive and very thorough investigations, the MACC also found no irregularities in his trip to Disneyland, and his purchase of the small landed detached hut. We found that all dealings were conducted above board. We would also like to congratulate the former menteri Besar for being a clean and incorruptible leader.

The MACC would also advise the former Menteri Besar to lodge a report against those who had intentionally tried to sully his impeccable image. If such a report is made, we would personally request the police to hand over the investigations over to us and we will conduct a thorough investigation, as thorough as the investigation in the TBH case.

We would also like to inform the general public that we have begun investigations into the Open House of the Selangor Pakatan Rakyat Government. Initial investigations have unearthed the following very serious inrregularities.

1. The Open House started 10 minutes early and ended half an hour late.

2. Exco members were believed to have also eaten food meant for the public.

3. Cordials served were not sweet enough and paper cups and plates used were not made from recycle materials.

4. The female singer performing was found to be scantily dressed. We have photographs that show her exposed ankles.
 
5. No Penans from Sarawak were invited. We believe this is done to sabotage the PM's 1Malaysia campaign.

6. 3 curry puffs were found to be 2 mm shorter and 1 gm lighter than the what is in the invoice.

7. All curries were cooked using Alagappa's curry powder instead of Adabi. This is an act to sabotage Bumiputra businesses.

8. The lawn was not properly mowed. The grass was found to be 3cm longer than the permissible height.

9. The MB did not change his Baju Melayu every hour as is required by National protocol.

10. None of the waiters and waitresses employed could speak German, Spanish, Russian, French and Italian which would put us in bad light in the eyes of European tourists.

11. Guests were allowed to have second helpings which is a waste in current hard times.

12. Irregularities in the invoices where many 'T's were not properly crossed and 'I's not properly dotted.

In view of this serious development, we hope to be able to complete our investigations soon and a final finding would be announced on the 29th of September in Bagan Pinang, Negeri Sembilan.

This post is inspired by Bakaq - Penarik Beca's post here