Saturday, 26 September 2009

Revised, Improved and Humane

I knew it, these people are not all that bad. Somewhere in that smelly chest cavity there is a heart. They have promised to do it and now they have shown that they are serious about it. They have proven that their promise is not merely lip-service.

Yes, soon they are taking to Parliament and spanking new ISA and since they are the majority I am sure it would be passed albeit with a little bit of noise from the opposition.

I heard, its going to be radical, very-very improved and definitely humane. being privy to the content of the revision I am all too happy to divulge the contents of the revise act.

1. Only an Inspector and above could arrest.

2. A detainee must be transported by a Proton Waja or above. No kancils or Black Marias.

3. The arresting officer must cover the steel ring of the handcuff with a handkerchief so as not to hurt the detainee.

4. A detainee will be fed thrice a day and an extra meal on public holidays.

5. Ketupat and rendangs must be served on Hari Rayas,  roast turkeys during Christmas, banana leaf rice during deepavalis and Dim Sum during Chinese New Years.

6. Family members will be allocated an extra 5 minutes during visits.

7. Detainees will be allowed to watch the Chua DVD every weekend and the Viji tapes every Wednesdays.

8. Detainees would be allowed a 10 minute karaoke session every month.

9. During interrogations, detainees must be given made in Singapore chewing gum.

10. All interrogators must smile during interrogations.

12. All interrogation sessions must not last more than 23 hours and 45 minutes.

13. Cells must be bright and pleasant with portraits of smiling Cabinet members adorning the walls.

12 comments:

Mas said...

Not related to your article.
Somehow I am attracted and a little nostalgic to the HSBM badge. Was an old boy...opps old girl, years ago, during Dr Naidu era. You must be the product of HSBM or a teacher there? Keep writing. Cheers

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mas,
Yes, I am an Old Boy of HSBM 1969-1973. The last 2 years under Dr Naidu who was more like a friend than a Pengetua.
I am now a teacher.

BravoEagleHotel said...

Wahhhh connections veri good horr , you get the full works pre Parliament ... (Y)
Stoke 0 Man United 3 ...
Rooney , Owen and Giggs (OK?)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Bravo
Okay la like that but I think Goggs won't play because he will put for the CL game.

shoroi said...

What a great improvement compared to the old ISA.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful piece of writing - so apt, and be sure you are not arrested under OSA!
Keep writing!

Wisata Riau said...

keep spirit and smilee.........
Mari Kenali dan Kunjungi Objek Wisata di Pandeglang
Kenali dan Kunjungi Objek Wisata di Pandeglang

Mas said...

Cikgu
I believe that was after the era of Pak Lah being student in HSBM? That was amazing - being friend to Dr Naidu, the legendary HM and the trademark of HSBM.

2 years in HSBM were most eventful and naughty life experience for me. Being most popular girl in the years 80-81, every week my name will be written all over the school and windows, Dr Naidu will summon me to his office and he then teased me until I cry. Playing football and rugby was great experience. Long live HSBM! and to Cikgu, keep writing and continue with your valuable contributions to the nation.

Let me know if you visit Dubai and Abu Dhabi and visit our blog malaysianbizcouncil@blogspot.com

Salam

Kata Tak Nak said...

shoroi,
Yeap its a great improvement alright.

Kata Tak Nak said...

anonymous,
Yeah that's a worry too.

Kata Tak Nak said...

mas,
I was buddy buddy with that guy because I followed the rugby and cricket team everywhere.

Tok Jack said...

Mas,
Likewise I am also an old boy of BM High 1968-1975.Cikgu & I were in the same class Form 5A in 1973.I will never forget that 1 year we & many other greats in that class.It was awesome.We were always looking forward to be in school.We has such fun.It was memorable.We bland very well among all the major races but don't talk about it.We do not the meaning of the word that u re a malay,indian,chinese.eurasian, punjabi.We are just human beings respecting each as friends.thats it thats all.I wish I can turn back the clock.
U played rugby? unheard of, at that time even though we have girls in Form 6 then during my time in 1974 & 75.They don't play rugby.They were forced to cheer us on every time a game being played at Jacob's Green by none other than the Great Naidu.Attendance was compulsory.It was a morale booster.We became the a top team in Penang. we became the state school champion.we even beat the Senior State team.The State coach was embarrassed that the entire school team represented Penang Under 23.What a feat! I captain the school team and was very proud of my team mates.Fantastic guys.A real classic players.What we achieved was because of Naidu and our British coach -David Catto.He was an Engineer in Britain,married a local Chinese girl but could not get a work permit to work in Malaysia.So he helps his father in law's rubber trading business.In the evening he will coach us.Naidu make him our official coach.We went through hell with him he turned us into an formidable machines.T.I, Penang Free,SMS,St Marks were no where.We white washed them.Naidu was very proud of us.Every time we won a match he will ushered us up at the assembly and telling the school we were exemplary and the pride of the school,blah,blah,blah.That was the great Naidu.He acknowledged us. We were the privileged ones.His blued eyed boys.I remembered after training some of us including me were smoking.a prefect saw and reported us the next morning during the assembly. our disciplinary master, the great Nagendran aka Tahi Gajah hauled us up and instructed us to see Naidu @ his office.We all marched to his office.When we met him he asked us why do we want to see him.We said we were told to see him because we were caught smoking after training.He told us to shut his office door.He then offered his cigarettes- Benson & Hedges I recalled clearly and all of us smoke together.He also told if we want to smoke don't smoke in the school compound.we can always smoke in his office.we all love the guy.luckily he was not sacked if someone were to report him.I can say a lot about the guy. He was crazy on rugby and cricket.I played cricket too for school.

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