Lawyer: Your honour, the defence intends to show the world that the accused is actually a victim of a vicious plot and conspiracy by certain forces in the organisation.
Judge: I object.
Lawyer: But your honour, you are a judge, you can't do that.
Judge: Don't you tell me what I can and cannot do. This is my court and I can do what I please.
Lawyer: But your honour. it is for the prosecution to object not you. And as you can see, he is busy with his mobile phone typing whatever he is typing. My god! I think he is sending messages, your honour, what is this? This total disregard for your lordship.
Judge: Lordship? Where, where.? Er, you mean me? Don't you think I can see that? That is why I am objecting on his behalf.
Lawyer: But how would you know he is going to object?
Judge: Well, let me satisfy your curiosity. Er, mister public prosecutor sir, I hope you don't mind me interrupting you, I know you are busy, but you see, the defence lawyer said that he intends to prove that his client is actually a victim of a vicious plot. So I objected, and he is not happy. I am sure you had intended to object had you not been busy?
PP: Of course I would object. How am I going to win this case if he could prove that. My bosses wouldn't be happy with me you know.
Judge: There, there, I told you what. He is sure to object what. Look I have been working with him for a very long time, I know lar if he is going to object or not.
Lawyer: But your honour, you cannot be doing his job. This is a travesty of justice.
Judge: Look here, don't use big words. Do you think I would be impressed? Go on with your opening statement. (hmm, travesty, must look that up in the dictionary)
Lawyer: Your honour..
Judge: Okay enough, Mr Public prosecutor sir, please call you witness.
PP: I don't have any .
Judge: Very good sir. After considering everything that has been said, especially the defence attorney's rudeness in questioning my integrity, I hereby instruct the defence to defend himself. Please call your witness.
Lawyer: What is this, your honour, the prosecution didn't say a word and you say there is prima facie an..
Judge: How many times have I told you not to use big words? I am warning you. (hmm prima facie)
Lawyer: This is only the preliminaries, of course my witnesses are not present.
Judge: How dare you come to my court without being prepared. What kind of a defence lawyer are you? I have no alternative but to find the accused guilty of treason. Sentencing will be set on the 22nd. I'll have to ask the prosecution what they want. No bail, no appeal and I don't want to here a word from you.
Lawyer: Your honour, would you be so kind as to grant me a minute for consultation?
Judge: Ah, that's the way. Politeness will get you very far you know. Yes, you may. How can I help you?
Lawyer: I find that your knowledge of the law is out of this world, mind boggling, where did you study law? UM, Oxford, Cambridge?
Judge: I tell you a secret, after my SPM, I did not go to any university. Through the Ketua Bahagian of my district, I was recommended to the YAMNO school of judges. The public prosecutor was my lecturer you know. He is a real good guy. He always skipped class and we had a nice time earning extra as cyber-troopers.
Lawyer: What do you think about my clients fate?
Judge: Gone case lar this fellow. I think its the gallows lar.
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