Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Sale

Wow, the British government, so desperately in need of money, is planning to sell state assets! This recession must be really bad for a once superpower with bank vaults all over the world to resort to asset off-loading to get cash. I wonder if the British civil-servants will be getting a bonus this year?

Hey, talking about bonuses, we in the civil service in this country have not been promised any bonus this year and come budget day, no one has been talking about the subject that got many civil servants tuned in to their local channels every year.

Do you seriously think civil-servants crowd round the tv set to know what fiscal strategy the government would be employing when the Finance Minister rattles on and on on Budget Day? Do you seriously thing that the Finance Minister actually knows what he is talking about when he rattles on on that day?

Do you seriously believe that civil servants cares if its going to be a balanced budget, a deficit budget or a surplus budget? Heck civil servants don't care. All they care about is that will there be a bonus for them come year end.

I don't blame them really because whatever gains acquired through all those pay revisions that they got has been taken care off by the local sundry shops and gas stations. In fact, all those revisions couldn't stop them from having a deficit budget of their own.

Okay so Big Mama's husband gave a RM500 bonus recently to non-graduate civil servants so what is the big deal. A boy in my school recently opened up his purse to show off RM100 so what is a RM250 x 2 bonus really worth?

Now let me give the government a lesson in economics. We could always copy others and today lets copy the British Government by stripping off state assets to give us civil-servants not just a 2 months bonus but also a 30 percent pay raise then we could all rush to the nearest stores to do our shopping and inject life once more to our fast sleeping shopping malls.

No, my plan doesn't involve selling assets of money making companies. I am thinking about letting off assets that have been lying idle and doing nothing good for the country and if you could count brains as assets then I would suggest that for starters we sell our cabinets ministers brains but then I don't think that is a good idea because all those brains would not fetch much.

So Malaysia what do you have to sell? Hah I know, lets start with the lake in Putrajaya. I know of some unemployed, no make it many unemployed graduates who are willing to start a cat fish rearing project and with the AFC channel on Astro being so popular, I heard the demand for duck meat is great so they could reserve a corner of the lake for duck rearing.

What about Gunung Kinabalu? If you charged 10000 climbers RM1000 each you would only get about 10 million and that amount wouldn't do much to even cover the cost of maintaining the mountain so why not sell it? Since we are so fond with getting our names in the Guinness Book of World Records, this transaction would surely make it into the book as the biggest structure ever sold.

I would also recommend the Rajang River, Fraser's Hill and the PKFZ but it would take too long to explain my justification so why not you readers recommend something because we really do need the bonus and pay raise soon and judging by the alarming death-rate of our MPs and ADUNs, I am sure the government is also interested in this money spinning initiative because buy-elections are not cheap you know.

Wait, wait, what about bank accounts?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Cikgu,

I strongly recommend we sell our Cabinet Ministers' brains. Contrary to popular belief, our Cabinet Ministers' empty but living brains will fetch very high prices because many developed nations will pay for these empty brains for their scientists to conduct research to determine why such brains can remain empty yet alive for such long periods of time without any signs of intelligence lodged in the brains.

No sirree, these empty living brains are worth lots more than what we think. So lets sell off the Cabinet Ministers empty brains and the rest of the Malaysia's dead assets will automatically take care of itself. And the civil servants and the rest of us malaysian common folks will get our bonuses.

Kata Tak Nak said...

anon:
Yes you're right, something hardly used must be spanking new and should fetch a good price. Then we will get our bonus after all

sunwayopal said...

Heres the following nonsense we can sell since its pratically useless :-

1)Sell off the entire Sultanate since they r so clearly biased and useless and no longer independent. Forget about Sultans and by selling them away as toyboys, we no longer also need to pay for their upkeep.

2) All stadiums in the country. This one on 'No warranty' basis since another Trengganu is likely to happen.

3) This one not sale but 'For Hire' basis. Our very own UTK specilaising in blowing up unwanted mistresses the world over. Sure got huge demand!

4) And last but not least ! Sell away all the Malaysian citizens who voted Barisan Najis to a country like North Korea.

North Korea likes people who have NO independent mind, follow instructions like robots and willing to follow their Great Leaders to the grave with their childrens future also . Kim Jong Il will pay top dollar for mindless Malaysian morons like these group of voters !!!!!!





sunwayopal
http://www.myrealestate.com.my

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Hmm...damn good idea, this selling business is!

Say, how about this: It came to my knowledge that some top lady of this bolehwood land, spends a hefty amount whenever she goes shopping. By now, I figure she would have acquired quite a bit to fill a huge wardrobe of 3 double storey bungalows (talk about a walk-in wardrobe, eh?). So how about getting her to put those wears on ebay?

Huh? What am I thinking? Either she'll sell off the nation to pay for her new purchases, or that KJ guy will do it just to get into her hubby's good book. Any chance of selling all 3 of them?

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Hmm...damn good idea, this selling business is!

Say, how about this: It came to my knowledge that some top lady of this bolehwood land, spends a hefty amount whenever she goes shopping. By now, I figure she would have acquired quite a bit to fill a huge wardrobe of 3 double storey bungalows (talk about a walk-in wardrobe, eh?). So how about getting her to put those wears on ebay?

Huh? What am I thinking? Either she'll sell off the nation to pay for her new purchases, or that KJ guy will do it just to get into her hubby's good book. Any chance of selling all 3 of them?

cakapaje said...

ps. As a bonus to the buyer, we'll send them for a holiday in Mongolia.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i think its the whole package. get rid of this bunch and you'd be amazed how much corruption cases can be reduced.

monsterball said...

A very slim majority Malaysians wanted to sell Malaysia to UMNO..but commonsense have woke them up...making Najib crazy...coming out with meaningless slogans.
Now UMNO said more than 65% want to sell Malaysia to UMNO again..based on 8000 Bagan Pinang voters.
Wa..these UMNO idiots do try to cash in to rope idiots believing them.
Bagan Pinang voters decides our future ah?

ahoo said...

Chegu, we have been sold long times ago ! Debts are accumulating higher than the twin towers.

We may as well sell the airspace over Johor since the red dot needed it more than us. Also sell the straits of Melaka to the highest bidding Pirates from neadby islands. With that we taxpayers need not fund the piratisation and the civil servants can have a rise beside bonus. So, who to be the saleman ?

ツイッター said...

今話題のツイッター、mixiやモバゲーなんか目じゃない。規制が無いに等しいから、今がチャンスなんです!!ホンマ体力が持たない位の入れ喰い状態が続いて、ツイッターを放置してた事を後悔してます

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