Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Possible and Probable

Scenario 1

Ali: Hoi Mat, Muthu, where to?

Mat: Aiseyman, Ali, Ah Seng, we all going for a break la. Line down at the office so boss gave us 2 hours break.

Ah Seng: We all also got break because line down. I say, why we all talking here, lets go somewhere else la, so hot one here.

Muthu: Yes, la, very hot one here, lets go there.

Ali: Jom, ......... waaa, now better la, a bit shady here. Just now ahh, got one new Meenachi in my office la, aiyooo so sexy one la, ...

Ah Seng: Heh! Heh! What is this? Apa ni, apa pasai tangkap saya, hey Muthu what is this?

Police: This is an illegal assembly. No one can rest under a shady tree. You are in contravention of the Akta Jalan Parit dan Bangunan 1974, for obstructing passage in a public place.

Ali: What is this Datuk?

Police: What is that? Is that a plaque? Arrest them and break that plaque.

Ah Seng: Hey encik, this is my laptop la.


Scenario 2

Mom: Eh Mat! Why are you so quite?

Mat: You'd be the same if you were in my place.

Mom: Now tell me, what's wrong. You know your mom has plenty of ways to settle things. Remember how I chased out the new neighbours with the help of the police?

Mat: Oh so it was you who did it, but how? I thought they bought it legally?

Mom: Oh I have my ways. Now tell me about your problems.

Mat: You know Pak Ismail is inviting Samdol, Bedol and me, Mat Dol in 2 weeks time to his house. There his relatives would decide who gets to marry his lovely daughter Timol. From what I heard, Bedol has been treating Pak Ismail's relatives to lavish dinners and has been handing out lots of money. I tried to do the same but Bedol's people shut me out.

Mom: What about Samdol?

Mat: Samdol is true to his name, he is a real 'dol'. Remember how he was caught at the Orang Asli's village carrying forbidden goods? Luckily they believed him when he said he didn't understand Orang Asli.

Mom: So, Samdol is out? You mean now it's between you and Bedol only?

Mat: Yes mom, but it's difficult to fight him.

Mom: Don't worry, I'll get the village committee to declare him unfit for marriage. They'll think of something, they always do, no matter how ridiculous it is.

Mat: What would people say? They would say that you manipulated the village committee they answer to you.

Mom: Don't worry, I'll unleash our Joyah's to spread our version of the story. You know la, our Joyah's are very good at this.

24 comments:

acciaccatura said...

salam chegu,
nak tanyalah chegu, ada gambar chegu dengan kakak tu kat hospital, sebab apa? or did i miss something here?
salam tu kakak.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Accia,
You didn't miss anything. Memang pada 6hb 3 hari tu missus pi hospital utk pembedahan kecil di tangan. Tak tau la kalu dia cerita kat E atau tak masa jumpa di sana haritu yang dia baru di proses tangan dia tu.

So hari tu kami pi. Dah ready semua. Bila dia masuk, doktor tekan tangan dan tanya dia sakit ka tak. Dia kata tak sebab kesan steroid yang depa inject about 3 bulan sudah masih ada lagi so doktor kata tak payah potong. Dia kata masa sakit baru mai. Problem dia ialah bila sakit tak tentu kita boleh dapat appointment segera untuk bedah. Mungkin kena tunggu 3 bulan ka apa ka. Memang la lani missus lega sebab tak kena potong.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

since you mentioned si mail, been meaning to spill this out.

so kj was found guilty of corruption. truth to amno's tradition, those still in favour will be let off the hook, even for committing ehemm...hehehe...

so anyway, assuming the soninlaw wins and become their KP, he will eventually land a ministerial post. which means we may have a proven corrupted leader and minister.

tak betul ke? salah tetap salah, bukan ka?

Anonymous said...

i m stumped.help me out will ya cikgu.The melaka guy was found guilty of money politics and barred from contesting but not suspended as a division chief nor a member and can continue as the head honcho of the state of malacca.meaning that even though there were elements of corrupt practice, u can still lead a state, which ironically professes to the tagline of bersih, cekap and amanah? mohon penjelasan cikgu
son in-lawa was found guilty too but due to " weak evidence" he was let off with a warning. weak evidence? mohon penjelasan.
the chief minister's political sec is found guilty and handed a 3 year suspension and yet his boss his only barred from contesting. mohon penjelasan.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
If we can have someone guilty of more serious crime as top man, what is there with a corrupt Deputy Ket Pemuda.
You see, they feel uneasy if there are clean people around, not that there are any, so together they dwell in their pig sty

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous,
Even before the announcement I was tellng myself, UMNO couldn't afford to sack a Chief Minister.
Do you think they'd care what people say? As mentioned in the post, their Joyah's namely TV3, Utusan, Berita, NST and Star would see to it that this discrepancy is not dealt with too much.

fatsogigolo said...

salam chekgu..
im already confuse, and become more confuse, (or there is such word as confuser??haaha…)
If Confusious still alive,mebi he will confuse too..

I think mebi for ameno people, there is such things as rasuah besar and rasuah kecik,so that’s why rasuah kecik can be forgiven…
Plus keri is still new in politics, so they consider him as a toddler compared to tua kerepot Ali.

Pelik tapi benar,plus tak sabar nak mengundi di bukit selambau.. :)

-cipan goreng-

Kata Tak Nak said...

Fatsogigola or Cipan Goreng,
I visited your place but there is no post yet, maybe later I hope. I think I am confuser tan you and the kampung people are the most confusest.

Bukan apa, rasuah kecik means the person who commits rasuah has a small dick and rasuah besaq means, the dick is still small but the balls are huge.

Toilet paper said...

salam..
tidak lama lagi semua pokok yg berdekatan dgn Dewan Undangan negeri akan d tebang..
haha..

Kata Tak Nak said...

Toilet Paper,
Bukan saja dia potong pokok, dia akan cementkan kawasan lapang.

zewt said...

salam cikgu.... the results last week.... the heartache... are u still feeling it?

we will bounce back!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Zewt,
My philosophy is the BPL is a 38 game affair. Yes, it hurts me but what I do is to look forward to the next game.

monsterball said...

They are so desperate...guilty one can still be CM....simply because he said..."UMNO will rule forever"..and delver Melaka.
This man is so valuable for for Najib.. to continue bribing and win.
Is this not absurdly ridiculous?

fatsogigolo said...

Chekgu,that is a good one,hahaa

but i bet keri's dick is samaller than Wan N0r Azlin husband's dick.
So keri have won the title aleady,the smallest dick among amenos people.. :)should change his name to "keri 'the midget dick' j@m@lud"


regarding my blog,em..i have no idea la chekgu..mebi someday ler..:)

Ydiana said...

Cikgu

Good to know you are up and about! Hope you are well now! :) And Mrs too?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
It would be a surprise if they asked him to resign. So Malacca now has the distinction of having an officially corrupt leader.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Fatsogigolo,
If it were me then I would rather cut off the stump.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Ydiana,
Thanx and hope you are in the best of health too.

muteaudio said...

Chegu,
Rasanya kena tahan dgn polis tak kalau makan Nasi Kandar Beratur kat bawah pokok?

Anonymous said...

Cikgu...maaf la

No baru utk talian peminat Man U dah tukar dari

0800414141 ke

0800202020

Jangan mare

Striker

Kata Tak Nak said...

Tazlin,
Takpa makan nasi beratoq bawah polok jangan dalam jail.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous,
Tak marah, nampak sangat orang dengki kat The Best Team In The World. Anyway, BPL ditentukan dalam 38 permainan dan kalau tak silap saya Man Utd masih lagi No 1 kan with a game in hand. As for Liverpool, lupakan lah hasrat nak menang apa-apa pun tahun ini dan tahun-tahun seterusnya. Liverpool is the team of the past so let them live in History. Man U is the team of the present. Chelsea memang dah bungkoih dan Arsenal pulak dok ada nun di sinun.

Anonymous said...

Cikgu

Dalam sukan saya berlaga ngan cikgu takpe tapi dalam politik kita kena sama sama hentam Gerombolan Bik Mama dan geng dia.

Makhluk perosak negara nombor 1.

Striker

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous,
Takkan sebab bola kita terpaksa tak setuju dalam semua hal? Itu tak matang namanya.
U pun takkan lah sebab Man Utd menang 5 trophy u tak mau masuk dah dalam blog KTN?
Saya percaya kita above petty things sebab one common goal bonds us.

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