Even ET is impressed

Army Chief: Datuk Seri, you are not going to believe this but please have a look out of your window sir.
Datuk Seri: On my money god! What is that?
Army Chief: I believe it is a spaceship sir.
Datuk Seri: A spaceship? Why land here? What do we have that is of interest to them?
Army Chief: Look, they are coming out of the spaceship? Do I give orders to shoot DS?
Datuk Seri: No, don't, that would anger them. We don't know how strong they are, if they could get here from god knows where, they must be from an advanced civilisation. For what you know, they could obliterate us with just one squeeze of the trigger.
Army Chief: They are coming our way DS. Do you want me to lock the door?
Datuk Seri: No, I think they come in peace, anyway, I think we couldn't stop them even if we wanted to.
Alien1: Earthling, do not not fear, we come in peace. We do not mean to create panic but we need your help.
Datuk Seri: You need our help? I think you got the wrong country. Try the US of A. They are very advanced. We are just a small country.
Alien2: We have checked, the US of A cannot help us. Only you can do it. We would be very greatful if you could help us.
Army Chief: DS, I think this is a trick. While we are engaged in conversation with them they could be invading is in the North and South.
Datuk Seri: Let's hear what they've got to say first. Err, first of all, may I know from which planet do you come from?
Alien1: We are from the planet Yatalantu in the Nogmaloia Nebular, 3 million light years from your Earth. We have a problem with a neighbouring planet. We need to check on the authenticity of a piece of evidence. We have checked from our database of the universe, only you have the people or should we say the person to help us. Not even the US of A have this expertise.
Datuk Seri: Oh, in that case, we are all to willing to help but what is there in it for us? I mean, don't I get anything in return?
Alien2: Are you asking for a bribe? We don't do that in our planet. If you help us, we will leave here in peace otherwise, we will obliterate this country.
Datuk Seri: Ok, ok, what is it that you want.
Alien2: We would like to prove the authenticity of this CD.
Datuk Seri: Oh, that. Gerneral, get me Yusri.

DatoT & Anwar Conspiracy

I am over the moon.

This particular entry is very dear to me. On Monday, 14th Feb, my eldest daughter gave birth by caesarean section to a lovely baby girl who incidentally is my first cucu.

I am now officially Datuk Nazir Khan and no Sultan can take this Datukship away from me.

I am over the moon. Oh yes, the baby's name is Hannah Khaleeda.

VIDEO: GNev + Crosses = Lots Of United Goals

VIDEO: GNev + Crosses = Lots Of United Goals

So the great servant and loyalist has called it a day. I take my hat off. Let the video above say it all.

Good News

Man 1: Oh no, not you again. Please don't open your mouth unless you have something nice to say about the government.

Man 2: I come to bring you good words about the government la.

Man 1: Like that ka? Like that means ok, come sit down. Mamak! Teh tarek 1.

Man 1: What good news?

Man 2: I heard from a very reliable source .......

Man 1: What source? How do you know the source is reliable?

Man 2: This one surely reliable one because it comes from the government itself.

Man 1: Ok, go on.

Man 2: I heard the government is getting richer la, by the day.

Man 1: What do you mean? I don't understand la.

Man 2: Ok la, I make it short and simple. RON97 up 10 sen la.

Man 1: @#$%&*@ you, go away la you.

Change Your Lifestyle

Machai: Boss harga gula naik, apa nak kata kat rakyat?
Menteri: Senang saja, "Kurangkan gula untuk kesihatan".
Macai: Boss, harga minyak naik, apa nak kata kat rakyat?
Menteri: Senang saja, "Guna pengangkutan awam dan elakkan kesesakkan jalan raya".
Macai: Boss, harga ayam naik, apa nak kata kat rakyat?
Menteri: Senang saja, "Lebihkan makan makanan laut untuk kwsihatan dan kecerdasan"
Macai: Harga Daging, ayam, sayur dan beras dan makanan laut naik, apa nak cakap pada rakyat?
Menteri: Senang saja, "Puasa baik untuk kesihatan"

Here we go again.

Ali: Eh mamak, why only RM2.30 back?

Mamak: Yes la, you makan RM2.70. You give RM5, so balance RM2.70 la. I also got go to school one. No need to learn maths in English also can kira this one.

Ali: I know la mamak, I also know how to kira but yesterday I gave RM5 you gave me back RM2.60. I ate the same thing also.

Mamak: Aiyo that one ka. I say, gula go up already, minyak also go up, gas also go up so my price also must go up la En. Ali. Budak punya gaji misti mau kasi bayar jugak. Teh tarik now go up 10 sen 1 glass and roti canai oso go up 10 sen jugak.

Ali: Teh tarik go up I can understand la because gula and susu go up but why roti canai go up?

Mamak: I say man En. Ali, I must use gas to masak itu roti la. What you think, I tunggu ada rumah bakar baru saya pigi masok masak itu roti ka?

Ali: Waa, sekarang you pandai cakap ah?

Mamak: No la En. Ali, mau hidup la.

Ali: When prices go up, you increase, you not hurt, you maintain your profit or even get bigger profit but what about me? My gaji tadak naik?

Mamak: Why you ask me? Ask the minteri la? Dia jugak kasi itu harga naik? I say En. Ali why make so much noise, naik sikit saja apa.

Ali: You say little la mamak because anyway the price go, you make more profit, but we all makan gaji punya orang suffer la. Don't tell me harga barang naik kalu, makan breakfast two days once only, don't eat everyday.

Mamak: I say, just now En Hassan the UMNO punya ketua come and eat here, he bring 10 people. They all eat and he pay senang saja,  tadak cakap apa pun, no complain.

Ali: Dia sapa, saya sapa?