Good, but it could be better.

Big Boss: I would say the operation yesterday was a success but there is plenty of room for improvement. You guys just missed it la. Like this how to get our KPI up?

Boss: But BB, I thought we did well, the demonstrators got nowhere near the Istana.

Big Boss: I did not not say you handled it poorly, all I wanted was that you did it better. You could have handled it better, that's all.

Boss: Please la BB, what else do you want from us?

Big Boss: Look at all these pictures. Tell me what's wrong with them. Tell me what is missing from them? Look closely.

Boss: Okay what BB, this one shows my men cuffing them. This one shows one being pinned to the road, this one shows them running helter-skelter, what else do you one?

Big Boss: Oh how I miss the last reformasi demo. Back them we beat them blue black la. There was blood la. Look at these, no blood la. What is this? No blood.

Boss: That is old style boss, this is new style. This is the 21st century.

Big Boss: Shit you, you are only brave when you had people in lock-ups. Piiirah you all. Like this means, the next time there is going to be a demo, they will ask the MACC to be on duty.

KPI surely go up one.

Reporter: It is said that the government aims to cut crime by about 20 percent, do you think this is possible?

Police: Oh yes, we are confident of reaching that target, in fact we are confident of surpassing that figure.

Reporter: You sound so confident, what are your strategies?

Police: Simple really, It will be a multi-prong attack on criminals.

Reporter: Multi-prong? Could you explain?

Police: Usually all those we call in for questionings are guilty but we had to set them free because we do not have enough evidence so what we will do is ask the government to pass a law whereby a judge must find an accused guilty if the police feels he is guilty. There will be no need for evidence.

Reporter: Don't you think that will give the police too much power?

Police: Oh, don't worry, we have never ever abused our powers. has the police ever abused power> Come on la, we are professional people la.
 
Reporter: What else?

Police: We will also ask the government to pass a law whereby any accidental-death while in detention or while questioning, must be considered accidental death and therefore cannot be challenged.

Reporter: Yes, if it is really accidental. You still have to prove it was accidental.

Police: Ha, yes, but the first law I mentioned just now must be taken into consideration, anything the police claims must be taken as the truth.

Reporter: Okay, but how do you define 'accidental' then?

Police: If we were to accidentally kick a suspect on the head with our heavy boots, or accidentally drown a suspect or accidentally beat the shit out of him or accidentally force him off a 9 story building. You know, that kind of stuff.

Reporter: What else?

Police: We would recommend that 95% of cases be considered as civil and not criminal.

Reporter: What do you mean?

Police: Like this, if someone robs you, it is between you and that someone and it has no bearing on the state so we consider it a civil case. If you have evidence, you sue him la. No need for the police in these cases.

Reporter: What about rape then?

Police: Same thing, it's between the rapist and his victim, it has got nothing to do with the country, so the victim sues the rapist. All these will greatly reduce our cases, giving us more time to do other work.

Reporter: Looks like with this you would not have any work to do?

Police: No, we still have plenty of work like tailing opposition members, snooping on them, concocting evidence, whacking the hell out of people, the list is endless la, we have a lot of work really.

Reporter: I don't think the people would like this. There will be mass protest.

Police: We do have an alternative though.

Reporter: Alternative? What alternative?

Police: Every known crime comes under the ISA. We just lock them up, we don't have to prove anything. I tell you with these strategies that I had mentioned, our KPI will surely go up one.

No stone unturned

We are very serious when we say that we will investigate TBH's death. I am not merely paying lip service. I am as serious as serious can be. I will prove to the opposition that I am serious, I will prove that the Cabinet is serious, I will prove that the BN government is serious and you can take that to the bank.

Although we already have a Royal Commission and although we already have an inquest, it's not enough to satisfy me. I want to get to the bottom of this. I promise you we will not leave any stone unturned in our effort to get to the truth.

Today just to prove to Malaysians and the world, I have lined up the whole Malaysian Cabinet and backbenchers in this park on this beautiful morning.

Okay men and women, I don't want you to miss even a single one. Turn all stones you come across.

The Results

So they have promised the whole world that they are going to get serious about the TBH affair. Yes, they are damn bloody serious to get to the bottom of it.

Woo, its scares me when they say they are going to get serious, when they say they are npt going to leave a stone unturned and an arse unprobed. Hey, isn't that Saiful smiling there?

They are not going to set up one investigation but two. Oh my God, they are going to set up two sets of investigation units. They must be bloody serious.

Yes, they are serious alright. A Royal Commission to study questioning procedures and ..... wait a minute, did I say a Royal Commission to investigate questioning procedures? I did? Why did I say that? Because they said it first?

To study questioning procedures they need a Royal Commission? So the Commission is not going to investigate how TBH died?

Shit man, why do you need a Royal Commission for that? Wait, wait there is more. They are going to set up an inquest to find the cause of death. What only an inquest to find out the cause death? they do that even for minor things. So who is the coroner?

Okay, I am going to beat them to the gun. I am going to give the findings of both these commitees.

Royal Commission:

Nothing wrong in their queationing methods but there are some weaknesses though. We hereby recommend the following:

1. During questioning, all officers must use perfumes so that their body ordour do not cause unease.

2. Officers must be cleanly shaven so that they do not look too fierce and threatening.

3. Baju Melayu and Batik is recomended to potray a friendlier set of interogators.

4. Beverages and snacks should be provided to the interogators at all time.

5. There must be soft music played at all times.

Inquest:

1. TBH died because his heart stopped beating causing a cut of supply of blood to the brains which caused all the brain cells to die and therefore his brain could not function anymore.

What a day.

I am writing this at about 1.30 this morning. Couldn't sleep. Why? Well, there must be a reason, right?

Well you see, my baby, the youngest one is to be engaged this evening. Yes, my little girl, my manja girl is to be engaged and InsyaAllah next year, she would be married.

It seems that it was only yesterday, she was still feeding from the bottle and today she is a big girl, ready to face the world on her own. It is both a happy and sad thing for me.

Happy because she is getting hitched to someone of her choice. She obviously loves him a lot and I like the boy too.

Sad because it won't be long before next year rears its head to take my baby away from me. I can't help it, I can't help thinking about it. Anyway, to her, I wish her all the happiness.

Now, for a twist to this story, yesterday at about 3.20pm I received a call from her sister. My blood almost drained when my eldest daughter said that my youngest met with an accident somewhere near the centre span of the Penang Bridge. My baby wasn't hurt but the car was badly smashed up. I was in class at that time. All I could think of was to go to her.

I immediately left the class and met the PK Petang who ordered me to go to my daughter immediately. To Mr. Tuan, thank you for being an understanding boss. Then I realised that the Pengetua was also in her office so it wouldn't be proper for me to leave without informing her. She too was as understanding as Mr. Tuan.

Soon I was out, and after refuelling my bike I decided to call my baby first to get first hand info from her. From her voice I knew she was in shock.. She passed the phone over to the other party and to the tauts present and soon, I had them towing the car back to Penang.

We met at a stop just after the bridge on the Island side and I was shocked to see the damage to the car. Thank you Allah for sparing my daughter.

At home she started to cry. I knew that she was holding back all this time and only decided to let go in the comfort of her family. She is still in shock. She did not get to see much of her favourite team's match against Seoul FC.

She is now asleep and from my desktop, I could see the hantarans (gifts for the boy) all laid out on the dining table ready for tomorrow. The happiness and sadness returns.

The truth is out there.

Police: Thank you for agreeing to meet us here in your house.

Madam: I just want to know how my son died so I am willing to cooperate. Would you like to have a drink first?

Police: That's very kind of you madam. Yes, please, it is a rather hot day, could you give me something cold please? Err, maybe lychee with longan. No sugar please, just fresh maple syrup and can I also have some nice and cold cendol with pulut?

Madam: Here you are.

Police: But madam, this is ice water only?

Madam: That's all I have, so please let us go on with your investigations.

Police: Okay madam. Did your son mention that he had problems at work?

Madam: No.

Police: Did he say that he was suicidal? Did he say that he could not stand life anymore and that he wished he could die?

Madam: You gila ka?

Police: Did he act strangely prior to his death, like forgetting to wear his clothes to work or wearing slippers in his hand?

Madam: Confirm you sudah gila.

Police: Was he talking to himself or singing loudly in public?

Madam: Lu memang gila.

Police: Did your son tell you that all the DAP assemblymen in PR Selangor are on the take?

Madam: No, he said they are very-very clean.

Police: Did he say that the MB is corrupt?

Madam: No.

Police: Did he say that he wanted to report to the MACC about corruption involving his boss?

Madam: No, but he did say that he wanted to make a report regarding Toyo's corruption.

Police: Lets not involve other people here especially when there is no evidence. Was your son friends with undesirable people?

Madam: No, he was not buddy-buddy with any BN people.

Police: I mean was he close to triad members, loan sharks, pimps, drug lords?

Madam: No he distanced himself from BN people.

Police: Was your son close to Nordin Mohd Top?

Madam: Who is he?

Police: Was you son a friend of Osama Ben Laden?

Madam: Why? Is he your grandfather?

Police: Was your son with Anwar when he sodomised Saiful?

Madam: What are you up to? I thought you wanted to investigate his death, what will all these prove?

Police: Sorry madam, I know the truth hurts. We have reasons to believe that your son was not mentally stable. He was suicidal. We also have reasons to believe that he had got himself involved with bad people.

Madam: Don't be crazy la. Unlike you, my son was mentally healthy before he died and he did not mix around with BN people.

Police: Where was your son on September 11 2001?

Madam: How would I know, that was 9 years ago?

Police: Has your son ever gone to Memali to meet Ibrahim Libya?

Madam: Have you ever been for a brain scan?

Police: One last question madam, Did the PR Selangor people coach you to answer all our questions?

Madam: They asked me to tell the truth but they never warned me that I would be dealing with a mad man?

Police:Madam: You have been most uncooperative. I am very disapointed with you. I think if you could follow me to the MACC office where your son died and meet the officers there, your memory could be refreshed.

Madam: Can you guarantee me that I would come home alive?

Clever hero

Reporter: Encik Samad, congratulations for being awarded the Medal of Valour for your bravery.

Samad: Thank You. I did it for my country.

Reporter: Tell us, during your 20 years in service, where have you been to.

Samad: Oh, Bosnia, Somalia, Philippines, Palestine and New Guinea.

Reporter: Where would you say was the most trying place to go.

Samad: I would say, Bosnia and Somalia. There was mass slaughter and endless fighting. I had to be called to do battle everyday but of course no one knows about this.

Reporter: Were you ever hurt?

Samad: Yes, I was shot in Bosnia and was beaten up in Somalia. I was beaten up quite badly actually.

Reporter: There are still some more volatile places where UN Peace Forces are needed. Iraq is back in turmoil and Palestine has never seen peace. Honduras is in big trouble. Would you go to any of these countries if called upon?

Samad: I have been to so many explosive places and come back alive although I met with lots of hostilities. I have faith in my abilities to survive. I will go on even an hour's notice just as long as they don't send me to a police lock up or to the MACC. I may be brave but I do want to live.