Monday, 30 July 2012

Monday Blues

MKT: DS, we are having problems with the civil service. They are not too happy with spiraling prices.

DS: Okay announce a 1/2 month bonus to them with a minimum of 500. Give 500 to the pensioners too just in case. What else?

MKT: The Felda people are none too happy with their present situation too.

DS: Felda too? Okay announce a special bonus. Make sure the total is under 50 mil. Next?

MKT: Sir the people are screaming mad with the National Day Logo and theme song.

DS: I thought so. I am also angry. Change the logo. We will see what we can do with the song and lyrics and tell Rais to not ever come out with any lyrics, even for his wife's birthday song.

MKT: Sir 2 of our MPs from Sabah has defected.

DS: Sack them. Make them look bad. Do we have any people who look like them so that we could come out with another sex tape?

MKT: No, sir, none.

DS: Get me Saiful then.

MKT: Sir, PR pledged to do away with duties for cars.

DS: Get our people to say that we will go bankrupt if duties on cars are done away with. Oh shit, this is a lousy morning.

MKT: Sir, is the elections still on for September?

DS: No, no, hold all preparations. I have got to call someone. (dial phone) Hey Ah Seng, ah, saya mau pinjam sikit duit boleh ka? Aiya mau election ma. Sumua duit sudah habis lor. EPF pun sudah talak duit, Apa? Petronas? Tak boleh lo. Itu orang tua sudah kasi sama dia punya anak ma. Apa gadai dia punya barang? Lu gila ka? Lu mau kasi wa mati ka? Tak boleh ka? Takpa la.

MKT: Sir, the elections?

DS: Call the AG and ask him to see if it is possible for us to have the elections in 2020.

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