Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Flat Tyre

Lawyer: When they were questioning him, did you notice if anyone had been rough to him?

Witness: No, because I did not see them questioning him.

Lawyer: Why?

Witness: You see, its like this, the night before that, while I was driving home from work, I had a flat tyre. When I checked, I realised that I didn't have an inflated spare so I took the deflated spare and rolled it for about 5kms to the nearest petrol station to inflate it. Then I rolled it back to the car and after changing the flat I was already very tired. When I reached home, my wife was waiting for me with a broom. She accused me of coming home after enjoying myself. We had a big quarrel that night and I couldn't sleep till morning. Then suddenly it was already time to go to work. When I reached the office I was already dead tired. I worked till night and was asked to look over the investitigation. When the officers were investigating I fell asleep so I did not know what happened.

Lawyer: Thanks for the long story but since, as you said, you were very tired, why did you not inform your superiors and get a replacement.

Witness: I can't, because just the week before I told them the same story to be excused from duty. If I were to tell them that the same thing had happened, they wouldn't believe me.

Lawyer: Why are you afraid to tell them since it is the truth?

Witness: Because I had told that story 6 times before.

Lawyer: So you have a habit of having flat tyres in the middle of the night and each time your spare tyre was deflated?

Witness: Yes, I don't know why it always happens to me.

Lawyer: I put it to you that you are lying. You saw him being roughed up and beaten.

Witness: No he was not beaten up.

Lawyer: How do you know since you said you were asleep.

Witness: If they had beaten him up he would surely have made noise and surely I could have heard it.

Lawyer: But your story suggested that you did not get any sleep the night before and that you had to walk for 10 kilometers rolling tyres and then had to work the whole day into the night, surely you must have slept like a log.

Witness: Yes, la, but if they had beaten him, surely he would have screamed and shouted "I did not do it, I did not do it, don't beat me please, I have my rights".

Lawyer: How do you know that that would be his words and not just screams of pain?

Witness: From experience, many others would screamed like that la.

Lawyer: From experience? You mean beatings were meted out on others before this?

Witness: No la, I mean I saw this type of beatings in Hindi movies and the victims would scream something like that la.

Lawyer: You are a liar, you expect us to believe you? The cctv shows you walking about at 2 in the morning.

Witness: Yes, la I was very tired, I must have been walking in my sleep. I always do that when I am tired.

Lawyer: Are you tired now?

Witness: Yes, last night I had a flat tyre and did not sleep after quarelling with my wife.

Lawyer: So are you awake now or are you talking in your sleep?

16 comments:

kopitelp16 said...

MACC officers must be banned from using tayar celup!

ahoo said...

Cikgu,

The plot is getting thicker by the day. Surely even "Sherlock Holmes" would be interested to investigate such a good case.

By the way, the xmb is in the thick of things with his name link to so many issues including PKFZ. No wonder his returns is faster than the legend of "Bolt Usain" and a palatial palace is his abode.

Anonymous said...

funny Cikgu.

that fella "HH" cabut for EL comeback already ah....???? puasa mah, must go EL overseas where no one can see whether puasa or not. this normal lah for those got money one, especially free money what.

read RPK article got mentioned the unsigned letter fit for dustbin; now "HH" happy lah... but why put into dustbin, better recycle as toilet paper, right?

wonder how that "HH" look like, Toyol kah?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

ehehhhehe...ofcos they are never wrong cikgu. and according to PM, we must not make negative judgment against MACC based on one unfortunate incident. see, only one. if TBH had not fallen to his death MACC's credibility would be as excellent -if not better- as HK's ICAC.

samson said...

Carryover from previous leadership, the habit of falling asleep.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kopitelp,
Yes they must only use skateboards.

Kata Tak Nak said...

ahoo,
xmb must have brought home some toyols to create trouble. Actually he doesn't have to go elsewhere to look for toyols coz his party is infested with them

Kata Tak Nak said...

anonymous,
I dono la, maybe brought home gastric cert from overseasa and hang the certs around his neck so won't be caught.

Kata Tak Nak said...

kerp,
Where they all got do wrong one. Don't be like that la, they are the nearest to angels as it gets la.

Kata Tak Nak said...

samson,
Yes, while sleeping can give kung fu kick one.

Anonymous said...

Minister Nazi: It's the underworld characters who punctured the tyres of the witness's car

Lawyer: How do you know that?

Minister Nazi: Aiya...so obvious, these underworld people always do such things

Lawyer: You cannot simply conclude like that

Minister Nazi: Why not? I punctured his tyres so that he cannot come home on time which then leaves me plenty of time with his wife mah.

monsterball said...

hahahahaha
So clear..so smart..many more Kata Tak Nak..jail cells not enough.....hahahahahaha

Kata Tak Nak said...

anon,
That is a classic la.

Kata Tak Nak said...

monty,
Imagine they expect us to believe them.

:: Aku :: said...

ahahahhahah

Anonymous said...

MACC shit.

what you expect lah from someone who sanctions his son's indulgence in child porno?

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